Surely You Jest

Duluth, Minn.-
The Edgewater volcano, which had been dormant for over a year, erupted last week in a fiery show of flames and smoke. Startled tourists were evacuated to nearby facilities by local authorities. Molten material was clearly visible on the left flank of the volcano following the eruption, which resulted in no reported casualties.

While everything you read above is true, certain facts were omitted to turn an otherwise mundane story into a mini-hoax. The ersatz volcano was constructed over a year ago during a $20 million dollar remodeling project at the Edgewater Hotel and Waterpark. A malfunctioning speaker within “Mt. Edgewater” burst into flames, which quickly spread to the frame of the structure.

Ideally, an April Fool’s hoax should contain a kernel of truth to lure the trusting rube into a web of deception. Once the victim is ensnared, his natural curiosity, passions, fears, or greed can then be used to maximum advantage.

Porky Bickar of Sitka, Alaska used the fear of death by volcanic eruption when in 1974 he successfully convinced his neighbors that the long dormant Mount Edgecumbe was about to blow. Having too much time on his hands and unlimited access to used tires, Porky clandestinely hauled several hundred to the nearby volcano’s crater, where he lit them on fire, resulting in a roiling plume of dense black smoke clearly visible to the residents of Sitka below. Porky could have made a fortune in real estate that day-- but he wisely hid until after the smoke cleared.

Porky's classic prank was listed at #14 of the top one hundred hoaxes of all time, at the Museum of Hoaxes: http://www.museumofhoaxes.com/hoax/aprilfool/index A few more examples which illustrate that the natural traits of the gullible are their own Achilles heel:

Most of us would happily witness the landing of the space shuttle except that Edwards Air Force Base is located in a California desert, and not nearly convenient as say, a small regional airport like Montgomery Field in San Diego. When local deejay Dave Rickards announced in 1993 that the shuttle had been diverted for an emergency landing at Montgomery, thousands of curious rubes immediately headed for the field, forgetting there wasn’t even a shuttle in orbit at the time. (Since my dad kept his plane at Montgomery for many years, I can report to you that runway 10L/28R is 4,577 feet long, far too short for shuttle landings). Rickards’ employer was billed by police for traffic control expenses, and thousands went home dejected but wiser.

Greed featured prominently in the 1998 Baltimore Gold Rush. Radio station WQSR announced that the decking of the historic ship Constellation had long concealed a box of gold coins which had recently been found. In a truly magnanimous gesture, the Constellation Restoration Committee voted to use only a portion of the treasure to pay for repairs and decided that the rest of the coins would be given away first come, first served to Maryland residents presenting a valid driver’s license. Hundreds showed up brandishing their licenses, unaware that the Constellation Restoration Committee had been disbanded in the 1970’s.

Nothing stirs passion like politics, so when the electorate was informed by National Public Radio that Richard Nixon (tanned, rested, and ready) was seeking re-election in 1992, thousands of listeners jammed the NPR switchboard with calls of outrage. Later in the show it was admitted that the audio clip of Nixon’s new campaign slogan "I didn't do anything wrong, and I won't do it again" was delivered by comedian-impressionist Rich Little.

So, on this April Fool’s Day, remember that not every erupting volcano is real, be aware of the shuttle’s location at all times, realize that no committee which votes to give away gold can possibly exist, and most importantly, never trust anything you hear from politicians running for president.